Yes, I did.

- Yes I did go almost 6 months without blogging.

- Yes I did start a post numerous times only to delete it in that time.

- Yes I did check all my favorite fellow bloggers while on sabbatical.

- Yes I did write this at 2:00am.

- Yes I did just buy an app to be able to post from my iPad more easily.

Maybe, you will see more of me around here. :)

Terésa

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Baby news...

I wish this was a happy update. Something light hearted and jovial. I guess when you spread your happy news you have to respread the unhappy news.

We lost our little one yesterday. I am absolutly heartbroken, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be...

xoxoxo

Now that you know...

So, I'm the type that that has baby names planned YEARS before the wee one itself is even a twinkle in my eye. I had Belle's name planned probably 3 years (right Sammi?) before I even met J-rod.

If Belle was a boy, we were going to name him Roman Wayne. And well, since we still looooove that name, if we are having a wee boy this time that's what we will name him!

As for a girl, that's a whole bag (can?) of worms...

I've talked before about J-rod's mom Salynn passing away only two short months after Belle was born. I readily decided that if we had another girl, we would honor his mom by naming our next daughters middle name after her. Therein, lies the challenge of finding a fist name to fit the middle!

I have always loved the name Ava. Not Eva, but Ava. We actually threw it around a little when I was pregnant with Belle, but we loved Isabelle more and went with it. So naturally one might think I would chose it for our next girl. Here's the problem...

See, I like to look at all the angles when it comes to naming a baby like kids teasing, nicknames, and initials. And what would our little Ava Salynn Speaker's initials be? You guessed it A.S.S. So 'Ava' is out. I really like Sophia with Sophie for her nickname, but C.J. and J-rod vetoed that one.

Then, a few months ago I was watching a movie about Coco Chanel. Yep, I fell in love with the name Coco. Now, this was back when I had NO idea I would ever get pregnant again. In fact, thinking of names made me think I was jinxing myself. Kinda how the people who have a plan with what they would do with the lottery money, never win the lottery. But, sometimes I can't help myself. (and I still have a plan if we were to win the lottery, that we never play... A girl can dream right??)

So the search began for a name to go with the nickname Coco and the middle name Salynn. It didn't take me long, and I found two. Cosette (think Les Miserables) or Colette (like Nicolette without the Ni) Notice the French theme? Belle, Coco, Cosette, Colette... Thank you Mr. Murphy for instilling my incessant love of all things French... Except French politics. Those I can live without, but I digress.

So after presenting J-rod with the options, let's be honest he didn't really have MUCH to choose from, we decided to go with Colette.

So in a few Weeks we will find out if we will welcoming Roman Wayne, or Colette Salynn.

Once we decided it was safe enough (I was far enough along) we started to call and tell family. J-rod called his grandma, who he is closest to in his family since his moms passing, and told her our name choices. "You know," she said, "kids used to call me Coco when I was young because of the color of my hair."

I just knew Coco was a family name!!

xoxoxo

Hello.... Is this thing on??

Well, I have about 7.6 minutes left before this Caillou episode is over, and Belle will demanding my attention elsewhere. So what does a typical mom do when she has 7 er 6.4 minutes to herself? Well, blog of course. Or if she is like me of late, catch up on some of my fave blogs.

The last few months have been consuming to say the least. Jarrod was in a car accident back in Oct. Then came the new year. And then I became sick. And sicker. (Yes, that is a sentence.)

Finally, after much persuasion from my family I decided to go see the doctor. But before I went, I did a little of my on self diagnosing. (I think I should be the next 'House' a.k.a. a diagnostician... but that is another post.) So I got on web MD and started entering in my symptoms...

Extreme fatigue.

Frequent urination.

Severe Nausea.

And pain in the back were the kidneys are located.

'Kidney infection' pops up first. Ahha!! I was right!

But I cant go on without giving a little back story...

4 years ago, Jarrod and I decided to go off birth control. I had the deep maternal desire to have another baby. I want to have another one close to Belle so that she would have a playmate and partner in crime.

The 'trying' phase began. Months of months of hope came crashing down in heartbreak. Months of false alarms, missed and late periods, hopes and prayers, started to weigh on me emotionally. And then months turned into years.

I would break down in tears nearly every time I heard of someone else becoming pregnant. I questioned so much. I wondered if there was something wrong with me, physically, spiritually. Those were dark days, with not much rationally thinking.

Heartbreak turned into bitterness. Bitterness into frustration. Frustration into resolve. And after 4 years resolve was well on its way to content.

I started thinking about the possibilities of the slight freedom that I would have once Belle started school. I could work again. Maybe go back to school. Because life goes on, right? I had my boy and girl after all. Some haven't even been blessed with as much.

Now enter present day... er to the Dr. appointment.

I go in still incredibly sick, on the verge of having to grab a toilet, and my back hurting so bad I cant stand. I tell him all the symptoms... "oh, and my periods late." He perked up then, and I saw the look on his face. I recognized it similar to the hope and curiosity that I used to feel float across my face years before I became quite a bit jaded. Boy is he barking up the wrong tree I thought.

He continued the exam with almost a smug indifference. I mean how could a 'housewife' diagnose herself with something as rare as a kidney infection. No, pregnancy (to him) is much more probable. But, I! I was not so easily fooled. In fact gone were the days that I even kept track of my cycle. And I couldn't even recall the first day of my last very fickle cycle started! And he left the room to check on the results of BOTH tests.

He returned with visible signs of surprise. "You do, indeed have a kidney infection." Well, that explains the surprise~ I thought. He didn't seem to believe me so he must be surprised I knew- "AND your pregnant."

He could have slapped me and not caught me more off guard. 

Apparently the symptoms of the kidney infection had masked the signs of the early stage of pregnancy.

We are so excited and feel so blessed, but if I'm being completely honest, I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this. I am starting into my second trimester now, and the 'Night (not morning) Sickness' doesn't rear its ugly head quite so much, and I'm starting to feel the little one move.

And around Oct. 27th I'm going to be a mommy of 3.

Lets be honest...

It's WEDNESDAY! So that means my guest blogger canwinn is back. Don't forget to go read my post over on her blog. While you are there poke around at her stuff I'm sure you will like what you see read. But before you go, and after you read what she has here, make sure and be good little followers, show her some love and comment!!!

(yep, I'm still rockin the right side!!)

xoxox

Have you ever noticed how people in the blog-o-sphere tend to put their best foot forward. 

I doubt it's intentional, but the reality is that we portray our perfection for the world at large.

So lets be honest.

My children are rarely dressed for success. My house is hardly pristine.

 I am not perfect.

Are you?

My typical hairstyle is a ponytail.

 My make-up rarely goes beyond eyeliner. 

 My scale is clearly about 30 pounds off and my clothes have definitely shrunk in the washer.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg!

I could go on and on about my family relationships, my house, my bills, my self-perception, or a myriad of other areas within my life... none of which is solidly founded in bliss.

Blogging is a fun way to show off my best person, but do you know what? It takes me about 30 minutes to write a blog post. 30 minutes that define the very essence of who I am.

Wow, I sure wish that were true. If my house looked like my blog does I'd be living my dream. If my kids only ever behaved badly enough to joke about I'd have the easiest job on earth. If my life were all smiling faces and bright pictures things would be fantastic!

So let's be honest. With ourselves and with those around us. Don't hide it, flaunt it.... even just a little.

Blllllaaaaahhhhhhhhh sick day

I hate being sick.

HATE 

IT

HATE!!!!

O.k. you get the point.

Well, at least I have picnik to edit pics while I sit in bed, And such a cutie to make cute pics.

Like the whole 'on the right' side?? 

Eh???????? 

O.k. I'm going to bed now. 

Is there a Docter in house?

Dr. Belle reporting to duty!

We’ve been stuck with the flu bug in our house. But alas only 50% have been stricken. C.J. had a stomach flu (mostly indigestion -no vomiting thank goodness- with some body aches), I have a head cold/ stomach flu. Belle and J-rod are still watching their backs.

I have been feeling quite sick all weekend, and then this came creeping onto my bed Sunday morning.

"Oh, quick Dr. help C.J. he’s so sick, he needs a doctor!!" I exclaimed in an attempt to entertain my brood if only for a moment.

Excitement sparkles in her eyes, as she begins her examination on her patient/brother. “Take a breath”, she instructs as she puts her plastic stethoscope on his stomach.

He obeys

“Let it out,” she instructs with the confidence of experience.

Again he obliges.

“Take a breath.” She moves her toy to his chest. “Let it out.”

“Take a breath.” This time she ‘listens’ to his shoulder. “… and out.” She then examines the back of the shoulder, and then with a stern look she turns to me ready to give her diagnoses.

“I think he is going to throw up.”

Later that same day: "Maybe we should take you to the dr. tomorrow, and he can give you a shot. And I can play with the toys! Is that a good idea?!"

Always watchin' out for momma.